mBaLOG

I know it probably makes me a bad Catholic (good thing I don't really believe it's possible to be a "good" Catholic; even better that I don't believe just because something's impossible, we shouldn't strive with all we are towards it, if it's the right thing…), but sometimes we get caught up in such micro- level debate such as "Oh, it's the same Abrahamic God," or "Religious indifference is unacceptable," or "We are called to the Mission out of love and a desire to share with others the beautiful Truth–whether we feel comfortable with imposing it on others or not (now this one I've begun to see a beautiful Truth in–for it always had been an uncomfortable idea

But then it's not about imposing something on people, and it's not about saving people from anything, for me right now; it's about, "Seeing as much complaining about hardship, such despair in the orld–Why would I *not* want to share what seemed a combination of hard-"earned" [I know I didn't earn and thus don't "deserve" and of what I see as benefit] Truth that allowed me to see such extreme value in those hardships that I see it's not about "praying that God end the hardship," but rather, to "pray to thank God for the strength He provided–whether I see it, accept it, appreciate it is where the problem is–and for both more hardship, as well a more guidance and humility to see in each one, a beautiful lesson that teach and temper me."

But what, Jale, I appreciated so much in your post was–and I think you can see it's important to me–the concept in Christian Ecumenism extended beyond just Christianity.

When people are critical of–or worse–fight amongst themselves who already have strong belief in God that they have the same humility, the same appreciation, the same underlying values of social justice, to do only good and not wrong–why do we do this? Why do we bicker when there are even so many people who don't even hold themselves to a moral framework other than one they make and change themselves?

When we ought to be helping others who in setting their own moral compasses for themselves, according to their own rules, but are able to be swayed by human desires–we so often lose sight of the same thing, I think, that causes fundamentalist atheists to be so against, for example, Christianity, when our underlying teachings, rules, laws even–when we say they're encapsulated in the 10 Commandments, they really are.

And for those who have trouble remembering 10–they really are also all encapsulated in just ONE: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

Now, that *IS* the essence of what God asks of us (not including, of course, what we owe Him–but I refer right now only to what it is that people find fault in in order not to be held to a moral framework other than their own)–and why, then, is it so critical to find fault in it?

Well, then we, the faithful, look to ourselves and in ourselves see that when we bicker and fight–and worse–about whose religion is false and whose is not–then we see that in judging "fundamentalist atheists," we have just done exactly the same things, amongst ourselves, and are a living testament to "In judging others, we condemn ourselves."

We're only on this earth for a short time that as much as our child-proofing and legislative/regulatory overreaction may mislead us into thinking we're entitled to more–we're not *entitled* to any of it and it pains me to see people decry God, stop appreciating, and consequently … well, it just isn't good; for even after I converted some 11 years ago, I hadn't learnt the beautiful and so ever-important lesson in Luke 14:26–that my daughter and the trials and challenges associated are NOT the top priority in my life.

When I keep my God #1, then all things fall into place, I don't panic and "lose it" when all seems lost, and then I don't start thinking that "When father is away, we can trash the place," and then start mistaking Graces of God as our own doing: "Good thing I _____, isn't it?"

Yes, I suppose it was a good thing you______; as long as we all keep in mind that a) you actually were wrong when you set out to do something else–which is why you'd say, "Good thing I _____ (and not ____, which is what you actually set out to do); and b) you actually had *failed* at what you set out originally to do and accidentally ended up doing what worked instead—-in *NO* way should we attribute credit for this to ourselves!

And yet, to have the same people claim that religion is the irrational–in order for *that* logic gymnastics to make sense–must needs be irrational in itself…. q:-S

Every day I give thanks in the Mass, in my home, in my car.
Every day I feel sorry for Him and try make some little reparation.

When I realised that it would be Fr. Steven–not Fr. Roy–that would do the washing of the feet, it suddenly hit me that I hadn't been thoughtful enough to shower before coming…

I was the second guy ("stand-in for Apostle") and as soon as I saw Fr. Steven kiss the foot of the guy to my right, I felt my heart sink.

For how could I let a man I respect so much–and more than that–a man who almost every day so lovingly and faithfully for such a small group of us, not only gives us OUR daily Bread, but (and I recognise this to be a perception/preference thing), but if you've been to St. Aloysius, then what they have over us in matter-of-factly close and deep relationship with the EF, is inversely proportional to the sense of "Extraordinary" reverence that I cannot even imagine Fr. Steven saying a Mass without.

I mean, literally, I'm server to Him (and, by transitive property of In Persona Christi, I guess…), no way does it feel right to be the other way around.

Even in tonight's Novus Ordo he imbues it with a uniform, consistent reverence that I so do thirst tto be able to give too, but fear it might come across as ingorance or disrespect of, rather than different set of aptitudes… q:-S

–even when he was altar server when Frs. Sean and Shannon were here but Jim could no longer even have the stamina to teach me directly let alone serve with me, as you did with him–something I realised from this one photo in particular: even a still photograph of him, not even moving, and I know it's not a projection of my dominant thoughts to say that surely you must sense what I refer to, too?

But even if it weren't the case, can you imagine, to feel that I could have showered closer to that time–simply that his lips would next ore Dominum, Deum nostrum, qui non ero offendium…

(The following post was originally written as an email to my brother Knights of Council 4917 and some fellow parishioners of my daughter's parish, St. Martin of Tours, on 4 April, 2012.  It pertains to my experience in watching a film recommended my by Brian Izzard [a fellow convert and Latin Extraordinary (1962) Form Mass at St. Lawrence Martyr, and Louise LeBlanc, and how it intersected with a Mission talk given earlier the same evening by Fr. Dominic Borg, OCD--he originally introduced me and a dedicated Tuesday night Bible Study group at Precious Blood parish, to chiasms in Scriptures, and seems to have a particular affinity for John q:-)

Just wanted to drop you a quick note, Louise and Brian, to thank you for personally recommending that I watched The Nun's Story; before that, I'd a very different view of Audrey q:-)

[not just the Holly Golightly but I always thought of her as the female counterpart to Christopher Plummer with their "Continental" accent--thought you might be so veddy heppeh, Edvard q:-)]

I was so excited last night in seeing how it was all pre-arranged that I wouldn't sit down to see it until after last night's Mission talk at Our Lady of Fatima, given by my favourite Tuesday night Bible Study powerhouse, Fr. Dominic Borg, OCD (you can really, really tell that his knowledge of Latin, Greek, Aramaic, and Hebrew *with* cultural context *of the time* aids in his exegesis!)

I thought the lesson on Christian forgiveness and loving our enemies, our neighbours–but "who are our neighbours?" as the lesson goes–(after the man deceived and killed Sister), and his imputed subsequent Conversion too obvious (when things are too obvious, even when we would see them, like my dog (requiescas in pace, amice mei +) would even dig his heels in and resist when I was taking him on a WALK (wanna go for a WALK, Smurfles?) only taking him to the car (which he loved, like most dogs, too…);

Perhaps the most relevant to me and my daughter was in the lesson to Sr. Luke when she knew full well she ought be obedient and report the Truth on her TB, be sent back, and leave things in God's hands–but instead, allowed Dr. Faustina to talk her into deception–and consequent loss of her beloved Congo mission…

That I watched it right after highlighted to me some new lessons on stuiff I thought I knew well, not the least of which being how easy it is for Satan to block our minds in thinking we already know something–and I see increasingly that Satan's work is far more in his trickery than in explicit brute force "evil" work (and Dr. Faustina showed his knowledge of her teachings too, recognizing every time her faults; so too does the Devil quote scripture with adeptness…)

–which is unfortunate, because I am so saddened in seeing how unwilling most people are to see the Truth–when it's not only right in front of us, but obvious and right in front of us; how are we to see the Truth through tricks and deception if we aren't even willing to see It without deception?